Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Under The Cover of Duvet

Q. Dear Mark,

I have the unique talent (at least, I think it's a talent) of being able to pretty much make my bed while I'm still in it. But as I lay there this morning, moving my legs to stretch out the duvet near the end of the bed and moving my arms to arrange the pillows at the top (this is all happening AS I am flat on my back), I wondered: am I just lazy? Or super efficient? 


Welcome to the blog and thank you for writing in. It's really good to hear from you. I hope you are doing well and making the most of the day. 
Even though I thought your question was kind of braggy, I do think you have developed a useful and unique ability that is based on efficiency instead of laziness. 
Now let's take a moment and examine your question:
I have the unique talent (See, this is the part that started off kind of sounding like as a brag. Or what I referred to as "Braggy". A lesser writer wouldn't be able to avoid mentioning that they know Braggy isn't a word. And then they would say, "But it should be." I won't do that here. It's tacky.) (at least, I think it's a talent) (That's great. If I could do it I'd think it was a talent as well. But maybe you could use a less aggressively confident word. For instance, try to use "Ability" instead because it's simply stating that you are able to do something. Maybe, it's best if you leave the distinction of "talent" up to the critiques of the bed making world. In the end, they are the one's who define the history and legacy of a particular discipline. It may help to illustrate my point by looking at this with a slight discipline adjustment. Let's say you enter a room and declare upon arrival, I have a unique talent. I am able to walk casually and comfortably with both feet enclosed in shoes. Well, as soon as you say this, we all know what's going to happen next. People are going to get agitated and challenge your "unique walking talent". Or at the very least start to judge your talent, pointing out any flaw or inconsistency. But if you were to, instead, just mention to some one, I have the ability to walk comfortably with both feet encased in shoes, others will likely feel less threatened and agitated by your statement.) of being able to pretty much make my bed while I'm still in it. (Honestly, this is impressive. And maybe that's the real issue. It makes those of us who can barely make a bed while we are outside of it, feel bad... Feel like maybe we should be able to do this thing that makes sense, providing both order and morning stretches to ones life, but is beyond our reach, or our physical or mental capacity. So, again, maybe a little sensitivity may be in order here.)  But as I lay there this morning, moving my legs to stretch out the duvet near the end of the bed and moving my arms to arrange the pillows at the top (This part seems fine. I have no issue with it. But it's only because I have full use of my limbs... Well, not really full use. My left shoulder has been stiff since I fell on it a few months ago. The bruising has started to go down and I don't get the nausea like I used to. The head ache is still there but I think that's just my age. But, yeah, I have no reason to take issue with this, but I could take issue with all the limb and dexterity flaunting. I mean some people do really like to see or read about that kind of stuff. Maybe just keep it in the bedroom where it belongs.) (this is all happening AS I am flat on my back (Here, I'm going against my better judgement and putting a parenthesis within a parenthesis. I am not comfortable with this but I feel it is warranted. Isn't that all caps "AS", again, a little braggy? (and I know right? It totally should be a word.))),  I wondered: (On a personal note, I enjoy interacting with people who are curious and self aware.) am I just lazy? (No more so than the person, or man, who invented the dishwasher. Do you think any one said, "Hey Ducky boy", or woman? I don't know. There really is no way to find out who invented that machine. It was so long ago. Hey Ducky, why are you so lazily inventing a machine to to the work you don't want to spend time doing? Not that I am saying you invented anything. But maybe you did. I mean, I'm no know it all...)  Or super efficient? (Yes this one. Keep it up. If you can do it, and do it well, and with style and finesse, then you may have real talent when it comes to the bedroom. As it is, as far as I can guess, it's simply a useful ability. One you would do well to keep up on. I've never heard anyone  say they regretted making their bed. Not that it hasn't been said. I just haven't heard it. Plus I don't listen very well.) 
Thanks again for writing in. I hope that helps,

The key:
Black text: The original question
Red text in parenthesis: Added text as comment and critique. 

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