Friday, April 15, 2011

Lung Tied

Q. Why would someone say "good lung" when they really should have said "good luck?"

A. Laughing... Laughing... Still laughing.

Dear Lung tied,
There is a brainiacical condition called tonguetiedphysema. It randomly inhibits the speech capabilities of hundreds of Americal citizens on a weekly if not daily basis, annually. The cause of it is really quite simple. The lung cord in the skull can temporarily wrap its self around the brainical node cutting off euro transmissions to the mandibulis fleshy tissues more commonly known as the mouth. This type of nodal wrapping can be caused by an excessive amount of jostling, like walking up or down stairs, laughing and moving ones head at the same time or jumping rope.
Imagine your lung cord is a lasso and your brainical node is a broccoli bit. As your body jostles the lung cord gets bounced around and may eventually loop its self over the protruding node and tighten for a moment. When this occurs the brain does send an electrical current to shock the lung cord off the protuberance but the mouth has already misspoken.
So if you ever have an important public address to give avoid running up to the podium enthusiastically. Take it easy. Slow and steady should keep all the cords in place and the nodes functioning properly.

Hope that helps.
Good day. And good lung,

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