Q.My husband constantly stays up really, really late and then complains about being tired in the morning. The reason, to me at least, seems obvious, but I haven't said anything to him. What should I do?
A. Dear Quietly waiting in bed,
I think, first you should talk to him about it. See if he recognizes that late nights are what makes the morning so difficult. See if he's willing to change on his own or if he wants it to be a group effort. If he wants to do it together you might try to set up a nightly routine with a reasonable goal for bed time. If it doesn't stick at first keep trying. It will become more natural.
I'm sure my wife just rolled her eyes. None of that would work for me. But I would want it to work for me. I don't have this problem much any more. Mostly because I'm always tired.
I don't know all the reasons people fight sleep. I know for me it was about wanting my day to be about something. I wanted to feel like I had been super productive. But instead I would just stay awake, hoping at some moment inspiration would strike and jolt me into productivity. Going to bed felt like I was giving up on making the most of the day.
If you think this might be the case, sit down with your husband and set realistic goals about what makes a productive day. A checklist might even come in handy. Once the daily tasks are checked off it will add up to day well spent. This may help him relax into sleep more easily.
It might be time to join a sporting or activity league or guild. There is a reason there are so many softball leagues out there. He might need something to work out excess energy and frustrations. I always sleep best after a day of exercise.
Speaking of exercise, starting a morning exercise routine can instill some motivational fear to drive one into bed at a reasonable hour.
Lastly. Maybe he just needs a reason to come to bed a little more often. If he's any kind of man, by the time the two of you are ready to cuddle he'll already be half asleep.
Hope that helps,
Mark
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